Coffee: The Ideal Single Cup?

I'm coffee cursed. I emit a strange electromagnetic field that interferes with my every attempt, no matter how careful, to brew a nice cup of joe. Until now. I think I've discovered a foolproof way to prepare a decent cup by making what's essentially a Cafe Americano in a slightly unconventional manner. Here's the recipe.

John's Cuppajoe

Equipment Needed:

Low-end household espresso machine
Microwave
Coffee measure
Espresso tamper
Small coffee mug

Ingredients:

Finely ground coffee, preferably an espresso roast
Filtered water

Directions:

1. Put two heaping measures of coffee into espresso machine arm. Tamp it down and attach arm to espresso machine.


2. Fill mug a bit less than one-quarter full with water. Pour water into espresso machine.


3. After tightly sealing all the necessary orifices per the machine's instruction manual, turn the espresso machine to the brew cycle.


4. Fill mug a bit less than three-quarters full with water. Nuke it in the microwave for one minute. Increase nukage as needed to account for any low microwave power or high pain threshold present.


5. Place the mug of warmed water under the espresso machine spout. If your machine is as slow as mine, this should be in plenty of time to catch the first drops of espresso.


6. When the espresso's finished dripping, place the frothing wand in your mug and turn on the frother to stir your coffee.