"Contact Us After the Holidays"

Loyal readers, that grinding sound you've been hearing was the gears in my brain spinning wildly as I tried to find a way to complain about an especially annoying aspect of unemployment, "the holidays," without sounding whiny.

As in, "Contact us after the holidays." If you're made an economic statistic about anytime after Nov. 1, you can count on hearing that sentence more often than you hear that "with the stucco and rock products from The General" ad during the national talk shows slot on your local radio station. Even people who have employment ads running in the paper from November to December will make you sweat through Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year's before giving you their Final Answer. You may be invited to apply, may talk by phone or e-mail with the hiring manager, may even get an interview -- but unless it's holiday temporary work, you probably won't get an up or down decision before it's time to throw out the old calendars.

We're told to think of those less fortunate at this time of year, but it's tough to find time to do something meaningful. Hiring managers, here's something that would mean a lot to those unfortunate souls looking for jobs over the holidays: Don't put them off until after your presents are unwrapped and your champagne corks popped. Making your hiring decisions this year instead of next could mean a little relief from a New Year's Eve spent worrying about the future instead of gazing in wonder at how the scientists with their formaldehyde and liquid nitrogen manage to preserve Dick Clark so well year after year.