Monday, November 17, 2003

The Surprising Benefits of Being Unemployed

From "The Surprising Benefits of Being Unemployed" by David Dvorkin:

We have been cured of the sin of snobbery. It was very minor snobbery, really. It was limited to the conviction that name-brand items are superior to those sold under supermarket house brands. ... But, say, that house-brand food tastes pretty good! And the house-brand toilet paper, er, holds up better under use! ... Yes, sir, solid values, suitable for normal daily use. Or every-other-day use, if you feel the need to make the item last a bit longer.


One hopes David hasn't been reduced to using the latter house-brand item every other day.

But seriously, unemployed or otherwise folks: There is no difference between the no-name brands and the brand-name brands except spiffier packaging and a higher price.

Don't believe me? Harken back to the Glad trash bag ads of yesteryear, where the happy homemaker toted his refuse to the curb with a spring in his step and the unfortunate generic garbage bagger slipped to the curb on spilled spaghetti noodles. Now, look at the fine print on the name-brand and off-brand "tall kitchen" bags. The plastic on both is 9 mil thick.

As they used to say in the 1/2 Price Store ads: It's the same thing!

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