Open letter to the airlines: Do a scientific study to find a quiet and soothing female voice (like the Washington Metro's "Doors closing. Please stand clear of the doors" recording) and use it for all the FAA regulations and safety advisories no on listens to anyway. It's improve the morale of passengers, who'll be able to get some work or sleep in with fewer distractions, and of employees who must just hate repeating the same script flight after flight, so much that they make gaffes like "FAA regulations prohibit destroying airplane lavatories, um, airplane lavatory smoke detectors."
Another thing: ban weather reports. There is no weather information useful to the average person that cannot be gained be looking out the window upon landing, and/or feeling the blast of cold/hot/mild air in the jetway immediately after "deplaning."
And get rid of that word, too. The sooner we all forget the tired "De plane, boss, de plane!" joke, the better.
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