Parting a Sea of Sheep

We were walking on a trail in Bavaria, Germany, when we found our path blocked by a bunch of sheep. The shepherd told us to just walk on through, so we did. It was squishy. And there's video:

Taking the Waters at a Budapest Thermal Bath, in 15 Easy Steps*

* It's worth it.

Budapest, Hungary, has a number of thermal baths—spas, really—fed by natural hot-water springs. They are fun and relaxing to visit, after you figure them out, which is no easy task.

The system is complicated enough that I don't think it would be straightforward even for someone who spoke Hungarian. Therefore, let my confused wanderings and my getting lost in a steamy spa basement be to your benefit as I present these step-by-step constructions.

1. Go to Széchenyi, and only Széchenyi. Rudas is men-only, and was closed for renovation during the alleged mixed-gender weekend hours. It is forever dead to me. Gellért has enough stairs to give a teenage athlete knee problems. Palatinus, on Margaret Island, is pretty, with cool slides, but it's more of an outdoor water park. Go to Széchenyi. The subway lets you out about about 100 meters away. (Curiously, however, the directional signs for tourists, posted in English outside the subway stop, do not point to Széchenyi.)

2. Enter the baths side (southeast). I can't be held responsible for what will happen to you if you enter on the opposite side of this rather large complex.

3. You will see many signs on the wall and on sandwich boards. A few are translated in part into English. Ignore them and march confidently through the vestibule into the lobby, where you will see a number of cashier windows. Near the cashier windows you will see a lengthy price list, offering various things you don't need and which could very well injure you if mistakenly applied/ingested/undertaken. Ignore the price list, which seems deliberately designed to confuse you (or at least me).

3. Take 6,400 forints out of your wallet or Everfull Purse and approach the youngest cashier, who is most likely to speak English should difficulties arise (which they should not if you follow these instructions). Hold up a thumb and say, "one Kabine" (pronounce it KAH-bean-ah). Briefly retract and then re-present the thumb and say, "and one locker" (pronounce it LOCK-er). Plunk down your money (you did count out the right amount, yes?), smile broadly, stroke the lucky totem of your choice, and hope for the best.


5. If all goes well, you should receive two plastic cards and one paper receipt. All three are crucial, young and soon-to-be-steamy grasshopper; guard them zealously from any folding, wetting, mutilation, or other misadventure. Take them and proceed forward to where a line should be formed in front of a gate operated by a spa employee.

6. Stand in this line patiently, with a smile on your face and a song in your heart, as the employee lets through random people whose cards look just like yours and who cut to the front of the line. Make no attempt to understand the system, and for heaven's sake don't become frustrated; the cortisol stress hormone you'll generate smells terrible when mixed with 38-degree Celsius thermal bath water.

7. When your turn comes, present your card to the gate attendant, who will run it over an optical scanner. Take the card back. Proceed forward and follow the sign to the Kabine. Look for a woman dressed all in white; she's the Kabine room attendant. If necessary, say "Kabine?" with an interrogatory look on your face (it may be wise to practice this look beforehand; one must always be prepared).

8. Present your paper receipt to the woman in white; it is proof that you followed these instructions and shelled out the extra buck fifty (equivalent) for the comfy Kabine. She will give you a round metal chit on a loop of string. On the chit is a number. You would think this number would be the number of your Kabine; if you thought that, you would be wrong. The woman in white will write that number on a chalkboard inside the Kabine, then gesture meaningfully to a different number on the outside of the door and say, "Remember." (It would be helpful here if a Vulcan mind meld were applied, as Spock did with McCoy while Khan's wrath was in process, but our woman in white possessed no such skills.)

9. Remember the number on the door.


10. Enter your comfy Kabine and change clothes. Consider carefully the items you want to take with you, such as sunscreen and sunglasses, and the items you want to leave behind, such as your sweat socks and soccer pads (if any). Your left items will be quite secure, never fear (and you won't fear if you ignore the many, many signs disclaiming responsibility for valuables left in the (locked!) Kabine.

11. Exit your Kabine and gently gain the attention of the woman in white, which may involve waiting as she performs locking or unlocking services for others. It should go without saying that one should not irritate the woman in white, as she possesses the only key granting access to your delicate underthings and such. The woman in white will lock your Kabine, and off you will go.

12. Follow the signs to the baths. (The signs seem to improve in quality and quantity as you proceed farther into the complex, perhaps as a reward for making it this far.) Upon locating a shower, use it; if you walked through a typical Budapest summer day to get there, you'll have lots to rinse off. Besides, there are signs everywhere saying showering is compulsory, and you would not want to be growled at by a bath employee. In Hungarian.

13. Now the relaxation finally begins. It is really fun exploring and trying out all the baths. Each bath's temperature is clearly marked on plaques placed in fairly obvious locations. Thirty-eight degrees Celsius is the hottest you'll find. That's about American hot tub hot; in other words, it will make your forehead sweat, and if you're like me, you won't want to stay in more than five minutes. The 34-degree and 36-degree baths are just lovely, thank you. There are also much colder waters, such as 20 degrees and 24 degrees. Why someone would want to plumb those depths is beyond me, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

14. You can stay as long as you'd like, which in my case was seven hours. When it's time to go, attract the attention of the woman in white, and answer affirmatively when she asks, "Finish?" (Do not say, "I'm not Finnish, I'm Danish!" That's only funny in Genoa.) Dress, and proceed to the exit (which as I recall was fairly clearly marked). There you will find another gate attendant to whom you must present your plastic card (you did guard it zealously, yes?). He will scan it, present you with yet another paper receipt, and off you will go.

15. Use caution on the subway escalator, which runs twice as fast as American ones and is treacherous in any situation, but especially when you're all relaxed and rubber-legged.

The ultimate in car camping

Oh, serious gear lust. Watch the video..

Free lodging on vacations?

The author uses this newsletter to live rent-free, but I'd like to try this for a free place to stay on vacation:

I've used the Caretaker Gazette to live rent-free for the past three years. A friend told me about this publication, which has been around since 1983, and I’ve used it to find positions living as a caretaker in California and Idaho. In exchange for my accommodations, my duties have included keeping trespassers off the property, taking messages, mowing the lawn, cleaning the pool and generally watching over the home when the owners are away.

via Cool Tools: Caretaker Gazette.

IKEA and Trader Joe's delivery services

ModerNash seems to actually be delivering IKEA goods to Nashville from Atlanta (249 miles) while KCGroceryService.com seems to have been trying since June to start up a Trader Joe's delivery service from St. Louis to Kansas City (also 249 miles, I kid you not, according to Google Maps).

Would a St. Louis to Lincoln (447 miles) Trader Joe's service work? I'm guessing not, but one can dream ...

Five Europe Photo Albums

Apologies, dear three readers, for the paucity of blog updates from Europe. I had not counted on the keyboard on my friend's laptop being as hinky nor as blazingly hot as it is; this has diminished the amount of typing I am able to do without burning off my fingerprints.

To whet your appetite for more, here are links to five photo albums I have posted from our trip. You'll see they are hosted on Facebook, but rest assured that you can view the photos without having an account there.

Europe Album 1:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2236843&id=17220214&l=5a84a0e847
Europe Album 2:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2238800&id=17220214&l=75f361e77c
Europe Album 3:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2240114&id=17220214&l=271410ee7c
Europe Album 4:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2240232&id=17220214&l=738c53c788
Europe Album 5:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2240380&id=17220214&l=202359f2ab

Update from Vienna

[caption id="attachment_451" align="alignnone" width="800" caption="The cathedral in Passau."][/caption]We have arrived in Vienna by train, the rain having cut short our bicycle adventure along the Danube. But that's not such bad news because ... we are in Vienna! The pouring rain is giving us time to update Facebook and this blog, back up photos, and check e-mail, all for the low, low price of €2.50 per hour. Really, that is very low for an Internet cafe.

Here is another of the soon-to-be-famous bullet lists of our adventures:

Turned around when a waitress at an outdoor cafe said (in German), "Americans! Is this your knife?"
Rented bikes in Passau before listening to a concert in a cathedral with the world's largest pipe organ.
Biked for four days from Passau to Pöchlarn before the pouring rain started. Had a minor rain shower on a previous day.
Got a little bit too much sun for our fair complexions. We are redheads, after all.
Found Gummi Smurfs and many other gummis, including gummi fried eggs. Did not sample the latter.
Spent four hours in Munich. Fell in love with the city, will definitely go back for several days to a week.
Jami tried on a traditional Bavarian dress. See the photo in the album linked below, or click on the photo in this post to go to the album.
Jami took a European cologne bath.
Went to the Hofbrauhaus and had a liter of beer. You'd be surprised how fast that stuff goes down.
Heard a ton of songs in English. Right now "Goldeneye," from the Bond movie of the same name, is playing in the Net cafe.

To see more photos, go to ...
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2238800&id=17220214&l=75f361e77c

Update from Germany

[caption id="attachment_444" align="alignnone" width="1024" caption="John and Jami in Rothenburg."][/caption]We are in Ingolstadt using the first cheap Internet, with a USB port for uploading photos, we have found since Frankfurt. Facebook photo upload is not working on this computer, so we can only post this one photo. Here we are in the town square of Rothenburg ob der Tauber, a magical medieval walled city. We arrived there without a reservation, went to the tourist bureau, and immediately had a 40-euro room reserved for us not 50 paces away in the town square. All our travel guides warn of death, destruction, and general lack of fun should one fail to reserve days ahead of time, but we have found this to be entirely not the case. Our advice: Just go where you want, when you want, and then smile broadly at the tourist office clerk.

Here's a short list of what we have done:

21km hike (with packs) through the Altmühtal nature park.
Parted a sea of sheep, at the urging of their shepherd. (Video to be posted later.)
Camped for two nights.
Ate way too much schnitzel, bratwurst, pommes frites, pretzels, curry wurst, chocolate ...
Drank plenty of cheap beer.
Jami is on her third German lesson on the iPod Touch.
Met some real gypsies on the bus.
Met some foreign exchange students from Nigeria and Tennessee, in the same group.
Saw the world's largest fresco on a flat surface, the trompe d' l'oleil at the Asamkirche Maria de Victoria. Magnificent.
Went to the German Museum of Medical History and saw many, many sharp pokey things.
Dried our underwear with a travel hair dryer.
Happened upon a street festival where a German man sang "Get the Party Started," by Pink, in a German accent.
Encountered many friendly people who helped us with our poor German speaking skills.
Took a lot of trains on the easy and efficient Deutsche Bahn system.
Were glad we brought a ton of ibuprofen.

That's all for now! Thanks for following our adventures. Please send us e-mails to let us know what you are up to, as well. We'd love to hear from home.

First day in Germany

[caption id="attachment_438" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="John and Jami outside the Frankfurt Zoo."][/caption]

UPDATE: Ten photos on Facebook.

The first day in Germany is done and it's been a good one. Our hotel is just two blocks from the train station. We spent the day just walking around Frankfurt, with our only two goals being to try Apfelwein (apple wine) and to try to find the hotel near the zoo where I used to have Sunday brunch with my parents. Accomplished the first; nit certain about the second. Had a great dinner of pork sandwich, Schnitzel and potato salad at the train station. Enjoyed buying beer and wine at a minimart and drinking it at a table in the train station. Jet lag isn't too bad, although those of you inclined to do the math will note that it's 2:48 here in Germany ... a little hard to sleep.

By the way, I'll be writing most of these updates on an iPod Touch, so don't expect great works of literature.

Packed to Go to Europe!

[caption id="attachment_434" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Jami and John wearing our backpacks packed to go to Europe."][/caption]

We're packed to go for Europe. We leave from Lincoln at 6:40 p.m., then from Chicago at 10 p.m. After that, Frankfurt and a whole lot of beer, brotchen, and bratwurst. There are some more photos of us and our packs (!) on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2236531&id=17220214&l=8adc24145c

Cozy Inn, Salina, Kansas

[caption id="attachment_428" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="Two slider-style burgers from Cozy Inn in Salina, Kansas."][/caption]

"When you go to the Hole, you smell like the Hole." It's a reliable prediction regarding The Watering Hole in Lincoln, Nebraska. But the Hole's clingy aroma of grease pales in comparison to that of Salina, Kansas' Cozy Inn in both pleasantness and potency. When you go to the Cozy, you smell like the Cozy ... as do your clothes, your car, and any room you enter for hours thereafter.

Cozy Inn's been around since 1922 and they're still using the same tiny grill to fry up slider-style burgers. In the tee-niny cooking area behind the six-stool counter, the cook presses small balls of fresh hamburger meat into a bed of sizzling onions. The resulting odor is captivating, but will stick to you like glue. Do not eat there prior to a business meeting. Four sliders, chips and a pop will run you $5.74, if I remember correctly. There's nothing else on the menu. Highly recommended.

A Special Message from the Tarp o' Hugeness

The Tarp o' Hugeness has room for you tonight.

We're going to Europe!

We bought the tickets last night for a July 7-28 trip to Europe. We fly into Frankfurt from Lincoln (it was $45 cheaper than leaving from Omaha or Kansas City, if you can believe that), then possibly head to Heidelberg to stay with a friend of a friend. After that it's Munich for joy by the liter in the Biergarten, then Passau to rent bicycles for a 200-mile mosey along the Danube to Vienna. From there we finish in Budapest, where a friend has graciously loaned us his apartment.

North Table Mountain Decorations

The trailhead sign at North Table Mountain in Golden, Colorado, is festooned with ceramic art. This is a picture from our early-season April climbing trip.

Nice 'N Spicy, Best Flavor: Thai-Laos Kitchen Restaurant

Jami and I found ourselves in South Sioux City, Nebraska at lunchtime recently and figured we had a good chance to find a great local Mexican restaurant. So we took a random turn off the fast food-festooned highway and after just a couple of blocks ran into something even better: Thai-Laos Kitchen Restaurant.

Just the idea of Thai food in South Sioux City drew us in. It wasn't until we left the restaurant we saw the delightful "Nice 'N Spicy, Best Flavor" sign in a far window. That sign would've sealed the deal had we been wavering. But we wavered not, and entered confident in the notion that if a Thai restaurant advertising a specialty in vegetarian food could remain open in South Sioux City -- indeed anywhere in Nebraska -- it had to be good.

And oh, how it was. While the Thai version of the Home Shopping Network blared loudly from across the gigantic dining room, Jami tucked into the Gai Himapan ($6.95), sliced chicken sauteed with pineapple, onion, scallions, and roasted cashews. Actually, both of us tucked into it because the waiter, who was well-meaning but quite rushed preparing what must have been a takeout order for a small banquet, brought us a double order by mistake. (He didn't charge us for the extra order). The thin, complex sauce permeated the moist chicken and the crisp-tender onions to the point where I resorted to holding the plate up to my mouth, the better to push food into my mouth with the chopsticks rather than take the slower route of grabbing individual pieces. Even this soon proved an inadequate way to consume the delicious sauce fast enough, so I tipped the plate to pool the sauce and scooped it up with a spoon. It was that good.

All this time the entree I'd ordered, Drunken Noodles, competed for my attention. The wide rice noodles were almost meaty to the tooth, tossed with bok choi, cabbage, perhaps some Chinese cucumber, and a few other ingredients that escape my memory now but were tasty and generous in portion at the time. The waiter asked our heat preference on a scale of 1-10, and I ordered a 7. I'll go for a 6 next time. I think the price for this was $6.95 as well. Oddly, the takeout menu I grabbed doesn't list it.

A couple at another table ordered the soup, served in a tureen with flames shooting out the top. There are also a number of appetizers, including the Stuffed Chicken Wing: "Chicken wings stuffed with ground pork, silver noodles, mushrooms and deep-fried peppers and served with sweet and sour sauce." I have no idea how they fit all that into a chicken wing, but I want to find out next time I'm there.

Thai-Laos Kitchen Restaurant, 1215 Dakota Ave., South Sioux City, NE, (402) 494-7625

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